- 06/24/2025
Anjali Lai helps lead FCAT research on the sociocultural trends that impact Fidelity’s customers. She has researched gender gaps, the digital afterlife, and the changing ways in which Americans use physical spaces. Recently, she has devoted much of her time to parenting and how those responsibilities have been affected by technology and the shifting economics of modern life.
Anjali spoke about her research just a few weeks before she was due to give birth to her first child.
Q: What are some of the new challenges facing parents today, in comparison to prior generations?
A: I think there are three broad new realities facing today’s parents. There is the economic reality — it costs so much more to raise a child today than it has in the past, so parents are stressed about finances. Then there’s the fact that there is only a 50/50 chance that your child will be economically better off than you. Even though parents are strapped financially, they feel compelled to spend more on their children earlier on so they can give them the best chances of getting ahead.
There is also a new tech reality. An incredible number of devices and apps and services allow parents to track and monitor their children in unprecedented ways. Parents are not only keeping tabs on young children, but also adolescents and young adults. There’s this idea that parents should always be with their children, either physically or virtually. This technology makes the work of parenting more intense.
The third reality is new social norms. A lot of parenting right now plays out on social media feeds. In some ways that can be good because it gives parents access to information they maybe didn’t have before. But at the same time, it can make parenting more confusing. There can be an element of social pressure, which turns parenting into something performative. It all adds to the anxiety that is ever-present with being a parent.
Q: But none of this has dissuaded people from becoming parents?
A: It’s such an important point. There’s a lot of talk right now in the media about declining fertility rates and delaying marriage, and about young people deciding not to have children. It’s true — it’s all happening. But all that talk makes it easy to overlook the fact that more than two-thirds of American adults are parents.1 And more than half of younger people expect to become parents.2
There is a lot of data on young adults and their concerns about having children in the future. Some are worried about climate change. Others are making financial calculations about how expensive children can be, or about how having children could affect their career. But they seem to be changing their minds later. People are having kids later in life, and maybe they are having fewer than they originally expected, but they are still having kids.
Q: Why is Fidelity interested in the changing nature of parenting?
A: At the most basic level, most of our customers and associates are parents or will be parents in the future. For example: think about how the math behind parenting is different now. This makes budgeting and planning more complicated. Parents potentially need different kinds of guidance for their financial planning, both when they are preparing for a child and then later, as they support them through life. Parents might need to get creative about how they manage their savings. This can be intertwined with their parenting philosophy. What are the values they are trying to prioritize, and how does that affect their spending and saving?
Q: So, the big day is quickly approaching. Are you ready to become a parent?
A: I don’t think any amount of research will truly make me feel as though I’m prepared. I’m consciously aware of the fact that as organized as I feel right now, once the kid comes, everything will be disrupted, and there will be chaos, and we’ll just have to figure it out as we go along.
But one thing I’ve discovered in this research is that there is such an external bombardment of news about the economy and the cost of raising a child, along with all the technology that is marketed to expectant parents, plus the advice on social media. It can make parents feel as though they have lost their autonomy. Parents need to figure out what works for them and how they can develop healthy attention habits to ensure their own well-being throughout the journey of raising a child. I mean, people have been having kids since the dawn of civilization. And they will continue to have kids. It’s all probably going to be OK.
2 Guzzo, Karen Benjamin, and Sarah R Hayford. “Evolving Fertility Goals and Behaviors in Current U.S. Childbearing Cohorts.” Population and development review vol. 49,1 (2023): 7- 42. doi:10.1111/padr.12535